A thought

I'm glad we don't name our kids the same way we name our pets. Having a dog named Spot is cute. Having a son named Oversizedfacemole...not so much.

The secret to my academic success (besides, you know, hard work 'n stuff)

The numbers don't lie.

Oh hey

Shameless self promotion? You better believe it!

http://hyphenatedexcursions.blogspot.com/

My (other) blog about the development of a play that I wrote--selected for the New Works Festival at my school.

Time for a SELF PORTRAIT

It's really convenient when people ask me what I'm going to do after I graduate, because how the question makes me feel is exactly the same as the answer to the question:

CRY FOREVER, THAT IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO

Who wants to live in a box with me?

AM I THE ONLY ONE?

I had a hard time describing my dilemma, so I thought I'd create a visual to explain:

...No matter what the length of the paper is supposed to be. Whether it be a 3 pager or a 20 pager. Yep.

WHHHY?!

California makes me feel intelligent

For those of you who haven't been keeping track (ie, all of you. All 3 of you. Arbitrary number... I don't know how many people read this thing), I'm now a senior in college. Which means I have entered my fourth year of living in Southern California. And I thought I'd do a change of pace--an experiment since I'm still not sure what direction I want this blog to go in--and share some thoughts on the subject.

Me and SoCal have a wonderful love/hate relationship. It's just a phrase, mind you. I never actually hate LA...but you get what I mean (I blindly assume you do, at least). Living in a place where it's pretty much always sunny is absolutely wonderful. Prior to being an undergrad, I had spent my whole life in Chicago. Now, don't get me wrong. I love Chicago. But I detest winter. Here's what they don't tell you about snow:

• It's scary to drive in (I'm a huge fan of not dying)
• Snow isn't always sparkling white like in the Christmas movies, kiddies. When piled up in the side of the road, it takes on a shade of grey that vaguely reminds you of dead fish.
• IT'S FREAKIN' COLD OKAY?!

So when I see the ladies of California prancing around the beach wearing Uggs, I get confused (and believe me, I have seen it). You see, I am used to wearing Uggs when it's 10 degrees outside with a -15 degree windchill, in order to keep my feet from getting freezing cold and yelling at me. Worst of all is when it rains in California. In spite the local's assuring me that it "never rains" here--it has rained quite a number of times in the almost four years I have lived here. Sometimes for a week straight. I'm fine with it, because hey--it's not snow, and it'll go away eventually. But people in LA are in such denial over it. Which leads to....

Yesterday:

It's raining. I prepare myself by wearing rain boots, a trench coat (red, to make myself feel like Carmen Sandiego), and an umbrella. Note: I was wearing clothes under the trench coat too, guys. Try as I might I would never have the will power to be the campus rainy-day flasher.

How did the girls on campus prepare themselves? (Okay, not all of them...but a surprising number). They wore Uggs. UGH. UGGS. Can I go over what's wrong about this?

• Uggs are expensive. The classic sheepskin kind costs 90-100 dollars. Why are you destroying nice things?! My friends, you can buy up to 400 gum balls with that kind of money. Now, while some people have those fancy sprays to protect the material, I can't imagine that it can protect much against the mud should it be encountered. But even if it can, consider my next bullet...
• Let me reiterate the "classic sheepskin" thing. By wearing Uggs in the rain, you are essentially wearing wet sheep on your feet. As someone who's adamant against soggy socks, I can't imagine that feeling to be a pleasant one.
• It's not even cold out.
• It does not go with that short skirt at all.

All I'm saying is that I'm puzzled over this. It's a culture shock, but rest assured I still love it here.

Things College Kids Say on the Weekend III

"I like her so hard"

You sir are the Lancelot of your fraternity.

Jay kayz

They say it takes less muscles to smile than to frown. Which means it is easier to smile. WHICH MEANS EVERYONE WHO IS HAPPY IS JUST LAZY.

Jk, though.

Because jk makes any statement okay.

Me being Miss Literal

I've been horrible with this thing, I apologize. Summer school and my internship have eaten up most of my life....and the rest have been taken up with doing absolutely nothing and watching every episode of The Hills on MTV's website. (I'll save ya the trouble: I judge myself).

Anyway.

Sometimes people say things that just....fascinate me because they make no sense. Like this phrase:

"I'm SO A.D.D"

or something like

"I hate having a messy kitchen, I'm so OCD"

...has been said on several of my facebook friend's statuses in the past. By people who most definitely do not have Attention Deficit Disorder or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But because they have a short attention span sometimes, or really like to clean, they say it anyway.

What if people applied that kind of logic to other health things?

"She wouldn't give me her number. I'm SO erectile disfunction"

"This soup burned my mouth! I'm SO gingivitis"

"Come on everyone, let's go out for some Taco Bell! I know, I know, I'm sooooooooo irritable bowel syndrome"

Yeah, eye-dee-gee-eye.

Things College Kids Say on the Weekends part II

"Oh sh*t, I might have pissed somewhere in the kitchen"

"I might have peed in the sink...I did pee in the sink! Oh god! I peed in the right hand bathroom sink"

Two completely different guys, but both equally classy.

I also like how the second guy was apparently in the bathroom and just couldn't bring himself to use the toilet. Because where's the party in that?

Oh hi

Not pointing fingers at anyone in particular, but can there PLEASE be less sketch comedy teams where everyone wears converse?

"Look at me I'm so edgy! "

But in other news, my life has taken a turn for the busy. It's my first summer away from home--I'm staying in LA, being an intern, taking summer school, and emotionally preparing myself for the fact that I only have a year left of college. I don't know who decided that I should be a grownup, but they were HORRIBLY misinformed.

I'm still trying to figure out which direction to take this blog in. I'd love any feedback from you guys, but realistically I know whoever is reading this will just go "Meh" and then go back to reading Textsfromlastnight or whatever it is that young people do nowadays.

Stranger Danger Screenshot Time!

Thanks to the internet, you can forget EVERYTHING you ever learned about Stranger Danger. I took a gander onto Omegle tonight--it seemed like a nicer alternative to ChatRoulette. Call me old fashioned, but I don't the concept of stranger's nobbly things getting thrown at my face.

Anyway, aside from a bunch of people wanting to know my asl (which as it turns out, has nothing to do with american sign language), there were some entertaining tidbits.

I talked to the same sexy bot twice. LUCKY ME:

And then I found a poke-nerd:

Indeed.

Quick'neasy

Like any normal person, I love things that combine more than one of my interests into a single entity.

Do you enjoy being on facebook EVERYWHERE while listening to music, but hate lugging around a computer? Voila! Here's an iPhone.

Or do you prefer letting the world know about what sandwich you're eating this particular moment, while stalking celebrities (because congratulations, you've finally outgrown myspace) --well then, have a Twitter.

Or if you're like me--do you enjoy watching videos on the internet, having a hearty laugh, but hate wasting your time on things that might not be funny?

Well then, 5secondfilms might be your cuppatea.

Just like the name says, they are five second films. That's right. Five seconds. (Plus a 3 second introduction if you really want to get technical). It's quite simple. You click, you watch, if it's funny, you laugh. If it's not--then well, at least it was only five seconds of your life. Plus you can easily click on the next video and see if that'll tickle your funny bone instead--because after all, it's only five seconds! It's quick, it's easy, and if my opinion serves me right, it's pretty entertaining.

These guys have an official website plus a youtube channel.

I haven't watched all of their stuff yet--but I've seen quite a few. I've found that they're mostly hits or misses. But I'm not that bitter about the misses, because like I said--they're only five seconds out of my life. From a creative standpoint, it's a pretty ingenious idea. These guys are able to create a lot of videos at once--because each is so short--and the possibilities are endless since there isn't a whole lot of context that's necessary.

This video in particular deserves some sort of praise for making me go from laughter to disgust in the blink of an eye. Bravo:

Things you find while people-watching

College kids who are totally ready to be in the real world:

• Guy wearing sunglasses in class.
• Girl flossing her teeth in class.
• Guy in business suit on a skateboard.
• Girl picking her toenails at a party.
• Girl who asked the professor if Canada has frogs
• Girl who says that Tiffany and Co is "so out". (By the way, call me old fashioned, but it'll NEVER be "out")
• Girl who drunkedly proclaims that "I'd rather get arrested than lose my fake I.D."

I've seen all of those this year.

Their parent's tuition money is going into some great use.

Compliments to the LMU archeology department

One of these things is not like the other.

Clouds in my coffee.

Carly Simon reveals the inspiration for You're So Vain

Looks like I was WAY off with my interpretation....

You're so VEIN.

What's in a name?

I'm sure you all are wondering, "What in tarnations does Herluckyham mean?" Or even "What kind of sarsaparilla was this person drinking when she came up with this URL?"

(I gave up swearing for lent, so I have to come up with delightfully alternative phrases)

No need to fret! Wipe that frown off your brow. You are about to be informed.

It's actually a reference from The Carol Burnett Show. It was from a line in their Jaws spoof (called "Jowls") said by Tim Conway, who happens to be one of my idols. I'll post a video of the sketch's blooper, which includes a little back story on how much it cracked up Conway. Always puts a smile on my face:

It starts around 2:20. Enjoy!

That's all for now, folks. More later, once this week is over. Homework and stage managing responsibilities and job interviews are abound.

Saturday night

Things college kids say on the weekends:

"I promise I'm not drunk! I only threw up because that last shot of vodka went down the wrong way"

Or the classic:

"I'm not drunk! I'm just tipsy"

(Repeated a million times over the course of 10 minutes.)

Sorry, but if you feel the need to keep clarifying yourself, then you're probably drunk. (But you're also probably entertaining. None of these have to be a bad thing!)

Sometimes when I see eager young freshman girls walking around campus all scantily clad and hooking up with anything that stands up straight, I like reminding myself "That's probably going to be someone's grandma someday."

And then the future seems bright and magical.